A Mother's Worry
Nice blog post, translated from Norwegian. Original post written by Christine Otterstad - AKA, Otters
A Mother's Worry
Posted at 9:04 pm , on januar 16, 2014
"I'm sitting in the living room with my 11 year old son. He does his homework and I work a little. Suddenly, he puts down his pencil and asks what I'm writing about today.
"Today, I’m doing a little research for
my book" I reply.
"I have a tip on what to write
about" he continued. "Something I've been thinking about.”
I shut the PC, thinking that this could be
interesting.
The boy breathes and takes moment: "I
thought you should write about mums, and all the concerns they have. Like you,
for instance, you worry yourself sick for your kids all the time. For us to
have a good time and stuff... But the problem is that when you worry yourself
SO sick, it becomes sort so serious to not have be happy! It's almost like we HAVE
TO be happy, ALL the time, if not you get INSANELY-worried. No one can be happy,
ALL the time!!! And besides, you say yourself that almost all worries never
amount to anything anyway?” said the boy, looking at me with an uncertain
smile.
It takes a few seconds before I get my
speech back. I am so incredibly taken by surprise by this 11 year old! A quiet
boy who rarely speaks about feelings and the like, but who, nevertheless, has
seen right through his mother, a mother who lives by getting others to worry
less in everyday life, a mother who is full of concern on behalf of her
children. INSANELY -worried.
That same evening I did something I've
never done before. I sat down and wrote down all the concerns I had on my
children’s behalf. The list was long. Very long. Having studied the list for a
while, I came to the conclusion that at least 80% of the concerns would never amount
to anything, plus a couple of them were downright crazy.
As a coach, I go on about the need to get
better at living in the present. But how clever am I really when even I, on my
children's behalf, am constantly worried about what might happen to them? Not
only am I living in the future, I live in a worrisome future!
The boy tried, in his childish way, to tell
the concerned mother say that the goal is not necessarily to be happy all the
time, the goal is to withstand both, the good times and the bad.
I think he's right! I think that many of us
(including yours truly) have been so caught up in the pursuit of happiness,
prosperity, mental strength and not least to have it good, that we forget that
it's okay not to be happy, too.
We cannot be happy all the time! We need to
take the lows too, not just the highs. And the same goes for our kids, they are
going to know the bad times. Maybe it’s good for them to know that the world
sucks sometimes, without Mum intervening and worrying herself grey and wrinkled.
It’s not irresponsible to live a worry-free
life, it just means that you don’t concern yourself with future sorrows. For,
as the kid said, No one can be happy, ALL the time! And besides, almost all
worries never amount to anything anyway?”
Christine - also called Otters"
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| "World's smartest 11 year old (strictly objectively speaking, of course." |
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